My Pet The Giant Snail
I PUT THE HOUSECAT OUTSIDE FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES AS A JOKE AND HE COMES RUNNING IN WITH A SNAKE IN HIS MOUTH
OH SHIT THE SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE
THE SNAKE HAS GONE INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
SNAKE HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD IN A PANICKED, THROWING MOTION
"Fucking put me outside again, bitch. See what happens." -My Asshole Cat
When confronted with a cuddly cat, the lizard simply continues to lizard.
I will never not reblog this.
Bearded Dragons barely give a shit.
They are super chill.
Jon Stewart is back from vacation, and he’s not wasting any time going after one of his favorite targets: Fox News.
Muggleborns at Hogwarts
I lost my shit at stomp stomp clap
When you quote a fictional character around a friend or family member and they don’t notice
when you quote a fictional character around a stranger or new friend and they notice
this is how i feel literally EVERY DAY