— Judy Blume (via thelifeguardlibrarian)
"How do you like living alone, Henry?" I ask myself.
"I’ve got a better question," I reply. "What if all my hoodies sat at the dining room table like they were friends?"
Hiding in the drawer, passing out high fives. #getoutoftherecat
Linus is a 1-yr old from Forever Paws in Fall River, Massachusetts. He lives with a middle-aged man and his grumpy old cat, and serves notice that neither of them may be grumpy while he is in the room, because life is full of cute things and laughter and he is happy to be here. When he’s not sleeping or watching the birds from his perch in our 3rd floor (attic conversion) apartment, he’s dreaming up new and cunning ways to sneak up on grumpy old kitty and get her to wrestle. Some day, grumpy cat, some day. Til then, he defers, planning, scheming, but mostly purring and sleeping.
I PUT THE HOUSECAT OUTSIDE FOR TWO GODDAMN MINUTES AS A JOKE AND HE COMES RUNNING IN WITH A SNAKE IN HIS MOUTH
OH SHIT THE SNAKE IS STILL ALIVE
THE SNAKE HAS GONE INTO THE LAUNDRY ROOM AND IM ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS
SNAKE HAS BEEN RELEASED IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD IN A PANICKED, THROWING MOTION
"Fucking put me outside again, bitch. See what happens." -My Asshole Cat